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Breakup and divorce

Houdini syndrome, when you escape from emotional involvement

Houdini syndrome refers to the Hungarian magician and escapist of the 19th century. However, we will refer to a type of psychological and emotional escapism that has a lot to do with the mechanism that operates the avoidance.

In this way, people with Houdini syndrome are characterized by escaping from work, obligations and relationships from time to time . In general, they tend to quickly commit to an activity or relationship. However, the greater the commitment, the greater the need to escape from it. Thus, there comes a day that they simply disappear.

People with Houdini syndrome do nothing more than reflect a deeper symptom that occurs, even on a social level, and that does not help to establish healthy and lasting bonds between individuals. Now, why does this phenomenon occur?

Liquid society and modern ties

No matter the time, there have always been people who have struggled to establish lasting bonds and commit. However, our society is too individualistic compared to other historical eras.

Unfortunately, more and more people are seen as mere means or objects. This situation does not invite to think that, for example, friendships or relationships will last forever.

Today, the ties with others are more diffuse and weak. It gives the impression that people are replaceable at all times and in all places. Nothing lasts forever, and perhaps many laugh at this concept.

Neither things nor relationships seem built to last. Weak ties are like shallow roots. Before the slightest difficulty, everything falls apart.

Houdini syndrome
We live in a time where relationships don’t seem destined to last long.

Keep reading: Liquid relationships and the fragility of ties

Phases of Houdini syndrome or emotional drain

Houdini syndrome usually occurs progressively, in phases . It goes from giving everything to disappearing, many times even without leaving a trace. In a classic way, the following three phases are distinguished:

  • First phase of sentimental boom: in this phase there is falling in love , and it seems that everything is going to go very well, that we are fortunate to have met that person and that he is by our side. Everything is perfect and our dreams are projected as reality with that person. However, this phase usually goes as fast as it appears.
  • Second phase of doubts: as the relationship has weak foundations or shallow roots, doubts may arise about the reliability of the relationship. Nothing is as beautiful as at the beginning, and you don’t really know what will happen. Uncertainty appears .
  • Third phase of emotional flight: the person in question escapes from the relationship. He leaves us, perhaps without showing up or giving explanations. Contact can be severely severed and it is not uncommon for that person to never be heard from again.

Find out more: I feel distant from my partner: what do I do?

Why can this emotional drain occur?

running away from a relationship
When one of the people disappears from the relationship due to Houdini syndrome, it is usual that nothing is heard from her again

There can be 3 factors whose simultaneous action would be equivalent to an explosive cocktail:

  • Immaturity: derived from the little emotional education that some people have. Many have stereotypical ideas about what relationships should be like and don’t know how to manage them. There is also fear of commitment or inability to plan one’s life.
  • Individualistic society : today’s society, as we anticipated, no longer gives importance to stable relationships , forming families and sex as an expression of love and transcendence. Instead, these values ​​have been traded for a misunderstood kind of freedom that manifests itself as individualism.
  • Internet, social networks and new technologies: the social networks give the impression of having dozens of potential partners hand, people who have in reserve , who write to us, send us photos. In these circumstances, it is difficult to focus and stay with just one person, giving up the others, depending on the stereotype that is imposed.

Houdini syndrome is not the only option

In conclusion, perhaps for many the situation is not the most favorable, but we must avoid being victims of escapism, or avoid doing it ourselves. Houdini syndrome is common in liquid society, but it is not the only behavioral choice.

Therefore, we must take care of the person we are with. We should not play with the feelings of others, just as we would have to take care of our self-esteem and face the fear that the supposed resignation of a multitude of couples supposes.

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