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Couple plans

6 details with the couple so as not to fall into monotony

Having time together can be an advantage if we think that time is an ally when it comes to strengthening ties. However, we also run the risk of falling into monotony and routine , highly dangerous for a relationship.

Therefore, it is worth having, from time to time, details with our partner. Thus, we will be able to break with the day to day by showing that we appreciate you and do not take anything for granted.

In this article, we propose 6 details to have with your partner and rekindle the relationship.

Monotony

Love must be cared for otherwise it may wither. For that reason, years together are no guarantee that a relationship will go well. It is necessary to strive to keep it healthy, not to fall into the routine.

Indeed, it is important to show the other person that, despite the years, we still feel fortunate to have them by our side and that the relationship is our conscious choice, and not the result of the inertia of time.

For that reason, it is important to have details with our partner. In this article, we propose 6 for you to put them into practice and be able to break the routine and monotony.

Details so as not to fall into monotony

Hugs and kisses

Hug
Show your love with gestures of affection to promote the feelings of your relationship.

Maybe after time together you feel less like spontaneous displays of affection. However, they are an essential ingredient in a relationship. In addition, physical contact brings benefits in many ways , benefits that you will surely want to bring to your partner:

  • Reduce stress and anxiety
  • Improves mood
  • Build trust and security
  • Raises self-esteem
  • It also provides other health benefits such as reducing blood pressure, improving the immune system or benefiting cardiovascular health.

It is the small gestures that can break with the daily routine. You don’t need to do something fancy or very different. Just hug and kiss . Surprise with a spontaneous kiss and for no special reason! Keep your bodies and minds in contact.

We recommend you read: 10 benefits of a hug for our health

A classic of details so as not to fall into monotony: An unexpected note

Another good idea to break the routine and surprise your partner with a show of love is to write a beautiful phrase declaring our feelings and hide it somewhere. It may not seem like something important to you, but it is precisely the small details that make the difference .

You can leave a post-it in the refrigerator reminding him how wonderful or wonderful he is. You can also put a small note in one of his pockets so that, when he realizes, he can read how lucky you feel to have that person by your side.

Respect the personal space and time of each

Mujer pintando
Give yourselves your personal space and enjoy it to do your favorite hobbies .

It is not necessary to spend the whole day together, especially when it is not what you feel like. That you need time for yourself or that your partner needs it, does not mean that you do not want the relationship.

On the contrary, for a relationship to be healthy, both of you must also spend time with yourselves. In those moments you can dedicate yourself to your favorite hobby, to relax and rest listening to music, to do some sport, etc.

Also, it is important to miss each other, thus refreshing the relationship. This way, when you meet again, you will have more desire to be with each other.

The box of memories

It is also a good idea to prepare a box with all your memories . In it, you can include photos or objects related to your relationship from the day it began, such as movie tickets, travel tickets or something special.

Then you can sit together and look at those memories. It’s a great way to remember why you fell in love and everything you’ve experienced together. Without a doubt, it will help you to get out of the routine and strengthen your bond even more.

You may be interested:  Live today and create good memories for tomorrow

A letter in the mailbox!

Mujer escribiendo una carta: no caer en la monotonía
Surprise your partner with a letter in the mailbox or at home, where you expose your feelings.

Imagine coming home from work and opening your home mailbox. Surely you expect advertising and invoices, nothing more, the usual.

However, can you imagine finding a personal letter in the mailbox? What if that letter is also from the person with whom you have been expressing for so long how important you are to her and how deep and true her feelings are? 

Without a doubt, it is a good way to break the routine and brighten the day to even improve our partner’s self-esteem.

Message in the mirror

When you shower, the glass in the mirror gets foggy. At that time, you can write a message of love to your partner such as “I love you” or “have a fantastic day”, the choice is yours.

Then when you’re done in the bathroom, the mist from the mirror will disappear and the message won’t be readable. However, when it is your partner’s turn to shower or bathe, the mist will again mist the glass and display the message . It will undoubtedly be a surprise that will make you smile .

Finally, so as not to fall into monotony …

As you can see, it is a matter of having imagination and surprising. It is about, at least one day, something different has happened, something that helps to refresh the relationship, to remind the other person that we consciously love them and want to be with them. Remember: details make the difference. 

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Couple plans

Organizing an express wedding: everything you need to know

Organizing a wedding is difficult. Too many things, too many details, too much stress … If it is also an express wedding, how can you organize it in the minimum of time? Next, we explain how to achieve it without losing your nerves.

Express wedding

If you have decided to take the big step as soon as possible and celebrate the wedding practically now, surely the nerves will surface and stress is present when thinking about how to organize it in a minimum of time.

Do not be overwhelmed. Indeed, the greatest enemy may be precisely the nerves. If you organize yourself well and calmly, everything can go perfectly. Take note of our advice.

First of all, the place and the date

Outdoor wedding
The first of the ideas to plan is the place and the date. Try to find a suitable place that suits your needs.

There may be many reasons why a couple decides to get married as soon as possible. Maybe they are going to move together to another country, the arrival of a baby … In any case, you should always bear in mind that, even if you want it to be now, the bureaucracy is slow.

For example, in Spain marriages, both civil and religious, usually take a long time to celebrate once they have been requested, especially in large cities. Therefore, it is essential that the first thing you decide is the place where the wedding will be held and, thus, according to the date they give you, to be able to start organizing it as soon as possible .

Do not take long to notify the guests

Once you have the date and time, the next step is to make the guest list and notify them of the event. If it’s hard for you and your partner, it’s hard for them too. They will have to check their agendas, make changes, organize themselves to be prepared to attend the event, etc.

For that reason, the sooner you notify them , the better. In addition, more guests will be able to attend if you have notified them in advance. Do not leave it for the last moment!

Hire a wedding planner for your express wedding

Guests at a wedding
Currently, a widely used tool, especially in express weddings, is the wedding planner . With his experience he can help you to streamline many details.

If you have no idea and, in addition, you have little time for preparations, it is best that you have the services of a professional, a wedding planner . Without a doubt, he can help you and give you a break.

wedding planner knows how to organize such an event and has in his files a selection of banquet venues, photographers, ideas, prices, etc. For that reason, you will save precious time in having to do research and market research on your own.

The banquet at an express wedding

The point is to limit the list of things to do. Therefore, for an express wedding, it is better that you decide to celebrate the banquet in a place that includes everything : music, decoration, etc. This way, you can focus on other issues.

Thus, do not hesitate to choose a venue for your express wedding celebrations that can organize absolutely everything in a minimum time and reducing the list of tasks for you.

We recommend you read: 8 original ideas for catering at weddings

The suits

Boyfriend buttoning his jacket
Launch yourself to find your ideal outfit. In case of arrangements, some prior planning will be necessary.

Obviously you will not have much time to go from store to store looking for a dress or suit. For this reason, it is much better to go to a wedding dress and gown store that has a wide variety. In this way, you may be lucky and can find yours in just one visit.

Also, you should keep in mind that if the suits need repairs, they may be ready in about twenty days or so. Therefore, it is better to go to a specialized store and start looking to make a decision as soon as possible.

In addition, you must bear in mind that, if there are bridesmaids , the choice of their dresses can also be slow. Therefore, it is better to choose the same pattern for all of them, that is, that they all have the same design. It will save you a lot of time.

We recommend reading: How to choose a wedding dress

The details

If you do not have a wedding planner , the best thing is that as soon as possible you attend to the rest of the details that a wedding implies: rings, photographs, stylists, etc.

For this, you can always count on the help of friends who have already gone through having to organize a wedding. They will surely be able to offer you contacts and advice with proven experience and their personal opinion.

Keep calm to plan an express wedding

Just married wedding couple hugging with a bouquet of flowers in hand.
First of all calm and organization. Organizing a wedding includes some stress but with planning you can enjoy an unforgettable day.

A normal wedding planned well in advance already creates stress. In the case of an express wedding, it is logical that it could be much more. However, losing your temper or getting angry about unforeseen events is never going to help. On the contrary, we will waste time getting angry while we should invest it in continuing with the planning.

So take it easy. Accept that there will be unforeseen events and that surely everything will not go exactly as you had planned. However, above all, think that it is about enjoying your wedding day, with its imperfections and its successes, and not about a race against time that will take you exhausted until the big day.

Honeymoon trip

The honeymoon can be a separate chapter in terms of your organization. Therefore, if you want to have more time, you do not need to plan it from now, but you can decide to travel at another time in the future.

In any case, you should be clear if you want a honeymoon abroad or in the country where you live. Thus, if you want to cross the borders, you must first make sure that you have valid passports because, otherwise, you will only be able to decide on a national destination.

In any case, you can always postpone the trip and do it later, where you really want.

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Couple plans

How to overcome the stress of moving with your partner?

The stress of a move seems like a fact that no one can escape. A change that revolutionizes the inner world of each person . It can be an inevitable disorder of everything that seemed little and suddenly becomes a lot. Do you know how to cope with the stress of moving as a couple?

Tips so that the stress of a move does not contaminate the happiness of the couple

A new home, new neighbors, new roads are approaching and inevitably affects. However, do not allow anxiety to take over . It is necessary to find the most positive points and take some precautions to make it a balanced process.

Peace of mind and positive energy should prevail in the organization of a house change. The control of emotions is essential to avoid the stress of a move. To avoid falling into the effects of anxiety, these tips are useful.

Previous organization

Woman surrounded by boxes
A previous cleaning and organization will allow to carry out the beginning of the move in a more efficient way.

The habit of discarding items that are not used during general cleanings is helpful. It means a great saving of time and work when making the decision to move. It is clear that things are always found in the same way that it is not known what they were saved for.

Once the exact date of the transfer has been decided, the tasks to be carried out are planned day by day . Thus, the organization is larger and many inconveniences or unforeseen events that generate the stress of a move are avoided.

Making a sketch with the location of the furniture in the new home is a basic point. It is the way to obtain concrete information on adaptation to new environments . At that moment you know if you have to leave something or go shopping.

You may be interested:  Decorating as a family: benefits for you and yours

Packaging of belongings

Those who have made a move can assure that it is impossible to complete the entire task in one day. Packing belongings early, classifying and labeling them is the best option. Likewise, it is advisable to separate what is used daily from what is less necessary.

On the label it is convenient to put the number of objects and in which room they will be located. In the same way, it should be noted that they are fragile elements . These data are of great help for the transfer and at the moment of unpacking.

The day of transfer of the move in couple

couple hugging while moving
Focus on the positive aspects of the move and surround yourself with family and friends with whom to share the first moments in your new home.

On the day of the transfer, tempers are usually more upset. There is a mixture of happiness for the new but with a taste of uprooting. However, you must always focus on the positive of this experience .

The fact of sharing the transfer with the couple and the help of friends and family is always a good plan . The recommendation is that the roles are well distributed in advance so as not to lose order. In some cases, the transfer is made with their own vehicles, in others professional services are hired. Whatever the option, the time must be set and the time required for the trip must be foreseen .

The new order

Once in the house they have chosen, they will be surrounded by boxes, packages and furniture. It is obvious that it takes a few days to finish putting everything in its place . There will even be modifications and new adjustments. Patience is the best ally to overcome the stress of a move at that moment.

The goal of a home together is practically accomplished and you have to allow yourself to enjoy yourself. The most convenient thing is to accommodate what will be used immediately,  the rest will be ordered little by little with the time available.

You may be interested:  10 tips to organize and organize the clothes in your closet

Rest is essential

Topics that you should discuss regularly as a couple
Find moments to disconnect from the boxes and rest. Your body and patience will thank you.

The desire to have the apartment of their dreams may induce them to work too hard. The stresses of moving and the physical effort of those days are felt . A break is necessary to regain energy and not affect the mood. There will be plenty of time to decorate , clean and live in that new place.

Calm and planning: keys to overcome the stress of a move as a couple

A list with the days, tasks and roles of each one avoids great tensions that end in stress. Unforeseen events always arise  but that should not change anyone’s mood . It is a time of change and must be faced as calmly as possible. Visualizing the future new shared home is a positive exercise to do as a couple.

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Couple plans

Tasks of the groom and the bride to organize the wedding

When you are planning a wedding, there may be doubts about the tasks of the bride and groom so that everything goes as expected. It is an important moment and good preparation is essential.

Knowing what each one should do is something that should be clear from the beginning . Nerves can cause tensions and arguments to arise that affect the moment in which the link occurs. So let’s see what to keep in mind.

 

Tasks of the bride and groom at the wedding

Before starting, it is important to point out that it is very important that there is positive communication between the couple . This is something that the article Communication and satisfaction: analyzing the couple’s interaction exposes .

In this way, a better understanding of what each one is going to do can be reached . Now, let’s see how the tasks of the groom and the bride can be organized.

What does the groom take care of?

Boyfriend getting ready
The suit and its preparation on the wedding day are aspects that the groom must watch out for.

The groom must take care to find a suit that suits him and with which he feels comfortable . Also, you cannot forget about accessories (shoes, cufflinks, etc.). For this, you can ask friends and family for help.

Also, you need to plan ahead for cutting your hair, shaving or grooming your beard , even treating yourself to a facial. Thus, no unforeseen events will arise.

Finally, the groom must choose well the person who will accompany him to the altar . This is a decision that only concerns him.

You may be interested in:  Organizing an express wedding: everything you need to know

What does the bride take care of?

Happy girlfriend
Like the groom, the bride must ensure a dress and official grooming on the wedding day.

Like the groom, the bride must look for her dress. This can be short or long, although the important thing is that you feel comfortable. You can also choose who your bridesmaids will be and what they will wear . They can help you with clothing and accessories.

Another aspect that you will have to think about will be the type of hairstyle that you are going to wear. Therefore, it is important to speak with the hairdresser beforehand and have several tests done . In the event that you want to get a facial , nail polish, or whatever, this is the time to organize it.

Finally, we cannot forget that the bride must also choose a person to accompany her to the altar . This, like the groom, must be an individual choice.

You may be interested:  6 beauty tips for brides

Joint bride and groom tasks

These are tasks for the bride and groom to be carried out separately. However, there are others in which the collaboration of the two is essential . Let’s see some cases:

  • Place : it is important that the bride and groom agree on the place where they want to celebrate the wedding. Also, it is important not to forget the decorations and gifts for the guests .
  • Cake : the cake is also an element that requires the opinion of the two members of the couple. The menu that will be served (options for celiacs, vegetarians or intolerant) and desserts.
  • Alliances : this is something that you must choose between the two to see that they fit well and that the style is what you are looking for.
  • Guest list – undoubtedly the most tedious task to think about, as well as its distribution at the time of the banquet.
  • Photography and music : the music that will be played, if there will be a DJ, the photographer and the option of a photocall are aspects that you should also think about.
  • Honeymoon : it is essential to prepare it in advance. You can take a day off, go directly to the trip after the wedding is over, or save this event for later.

With all this, you also have to think about whether the couple wants a marriage whose bond is made by civil law or by the church . As we can see, there are several aspects in which the tasks of the groom and the bride must go together. Do not forget the budget you have either!

We hope that this article has been able to shed some more light so that the wedding day is free of unforeseen events. Also, we want to remind you of the importance of planning everything in advance . This is a must.

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Couple plans

4 keys to preparing your wedding guest list

Preparing the guest list before the wedding is not easy , especially if the number of guests is quite large. For that reason, today you will discover some keys to make everything much easier.

For this to be possible, it is better that only the bride and groom take care of this . Although they can rely on a wedding planner , it is not advisable for other people to interfere with the guest list. We will see the reasons later.

 

Keys to preparing the guest list

To prepare the guest list, it is preferable that the couple find time to do it without haste . You can reserve a weekend or some time during the week. What is important to keep in mind is that this should not take too long.

1. Draft the guest list

Notebook to prepare the guest list
A preliminary draft will allow you to make an initial approximation to the number of guests you have in mind.

The first thing the couple should do is a draft. To do this, they can each take a piece of paper and think about those people they want to be on their guest list. After this step, a third paper will be taken and the names that both have put in will be noted.

At this point, they won’t stop to analyze which guest they can do without . It is only a first contact to prepare the guest list, adjusting it as much as possible thanks to the following keys.

You may be interested in:  7 best gifts for wedding guests

2. Delete guests

Now that the bride and groom already have a first guest list, it is important to start screening . Let’s look at some tips that can help to do this and we will understand why third parties should not be involved in this task:

  • Invited by commitment : people that the couple may not get along but who invite them out of commitment. You need to reflect on this, as the wedding can turn sour if that guest is present.
  • Guests who will not be able to attend : either because they reside in another country, they have some responsibility that does not allow them to attend the event or any other circumstance. For this, it is necessary to call the selected guests and confirm if they will be able to come.

3. Invitation with companion

Wedding guests having a drink
You must also take into account the companions of the guests to the event, as this will double the cost.

Another aspect that is important for the bride and groom to keep in mind when preparing the guest list is whether they will bring a companion or not. The reason this is important is simple: the choice of restaurant and the budget that the bride and groom have themselves .

In the event that the bride and groom’s budget cannot handle the large number of guests who are going to come, they can continue to screen until the list is more adjusted to the money they have.

You may be interested:  How to organize a wedding reception?

4. Choosing the location

The last of the keys to preparing the guest list is about choosing the location of the restaurant and celebrating the wedding . Therefore, it is necessary to take into account where each guest currently resides .

In many weddings, the bride and groom pay the guests a trip if they decide to do it far from where they are. If this is not possible, it will be necessary to choose something closer . Of course, always in advance.

5. Prepare the guest list and place them at the tables

Wedding table
Organizing guests at tables is one of the most arduous tasks in preparation. Therefore, be clear about your expectations and get organized.

Although preparing the guest list is already a tedious procedure, it is even more difficult to place them at the tables. To do this, the bride and groom must also go through another phase of organization in which they must think about who is next to whom and the distribution of all the invited people.

As we mentioned at the beginning, although it is not convenient for third parties to participate in this, since unnecessary guests may be added or only by commitment , the help of a professional is allowed.

In fact, having a person who specializes in wedding planning can be a real respite for the bride and groom. This is important that you value. Well, organizing a wedding can cause a lot of stress , discomfort and even anger.

For that reason, if the couple’s day-to-day is full of responsibilities, a professional can make this much lighter and better. Let us remember that this ceremony, including its preparation, should be a moment of joy and happiness .

What resources have you used to prepare the guest list?

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Sex and partner

Sexist behaviors in sex: not to be tolerated

Sexist behaviors are present in many areas . Indeed, in the workplace, at school, on the street, etc … Unfortunately, we can find them practically anywhere and the bed is no exception. A macho personality will be in all aspects of his life, including sex.

Macho behaviors

The dictionary of the Royal Academy defines machimo in two ways:

  1. Attitude of arrogance of men with respect to women.
  2. A form of sexism characterized by the prevalence of the male.

According to both definitions, we can see that it is a way of thinking, acting and behaving derived from the belief that man is superior to woman and, therefore, must prevail over her.

Couple arguing with angry man: macho behaviors
Machismo manifests itself in multiple places in our daily lives, significantly affecting sexual relationships.

Thus, a macho behavior is not limited to a single area of ​​life. Indeed, it can occur in work, family, society, art, even in legislation. In many cases, it is so subtle that it is even difficult to detect.

Therefore, sex is no exception: a macho, if he is, will not stop being one in intimate relationships. This means that, even in the sexual sphere, they will manifest their macho behaviors.

However, just as we do not have to endure phallocracy in any other way, we must not tolerate certain macho behaviors in sex either. How can we identify them? What are the macho behaviors in sex that we should not tolerate?

 We recommend you read: Beliefs that macho people have

Some macho behaviors in sex:

Believe that “no” is “yes”

Sexist violence
Simple and straightforward: “NO is NO”

Let’s start with the most basic: no no.  However, there is a highly macho belief that assumes that when a woman says “no”, she actually means “yes.” That is, if you insist, in the end the woman will give in.

This is a really widespread belief that can be easily verified, even today. Indeed, many blogs and websites indicate that “women are like that”, that they like “to make things difficult” and that, in fact, they are willing. It can even be verified in international projection movie scenes.

Well, it’s time to make it clear that “no” means “no” and nothing more than “no”. Point. 

Sex is sharing, it is enjoying together and it must be a fully conscious decision of both members of the couple. Therefore, if one of them says no, there will simply be no sex. Because sex can never be forced, it cannot be forced on the other person either physically or psychologically. 

Therefore, even if there are passionate and ardent kisses and the thing seems to lead to bed but at the last moment you are not sure and you do not want, you simply do not want. No one can force you nor should you feel obligated. Similarly, no one has the right to call you certain things for not having continued and maintained a sexual relationship.

“I don’t wear a condom”

Another of the classic macho behaviors in sex is that the man refuses to wear protection. In this sense, a “I control” or “I am clean” tag usually follows. Perhaps even a “if you want, use something yourself.”

This type of sexist behavior shows the arrogance of the man who considers that any negative aspect that could derive from sex (sexually transmitted diseases, for example) is not his responsibility but that of the woman. In this way, any consequence of sexual intercourse is solely the woman’s fault.

Well, no. Sex is an activity in which two people participate and two people are responsible. Neither is more so than the other. Therefore, you are within your right to request that there be protection and that responsibility be assumed. And, of course, you are not obliged to accept any type of sexual relationship without adequate protection.

Oral sex is only done by women

Make a French through oral sex.
Sexual pleasure is something of two, which also includes foreplay and oral sex.

Of course, for a sexist, sex revolves around the pleasure of the man, leaving that of the woman in second place. For this reason, normally a male chauvinist will refuse to perform oral sex on his partner , demanding, however, that it be done to him.

Indeed, macho behaviors tend to forget that women also need stimulation, that they also have their preferences and needs, and that not everything is sexual intercourse or male orgasm. Because, in fact, for many sexists, sex is aimed at a man’s orgasm and, after achieving it, sex is over.

Well, no. Sex is much more than that. Sex has preliminaries and there is also equally important subsequent activity (kisses, caresses, bonding). It should be satisfying for both of you and not just for one. Both must enjoy.

Thus, precisely in relation to oral sex practiced on women so that they can enjoy the clitoral orgasm, for the sexist it is a “waste of time” or, even, a “degradation”.

We recommend you read: Physiology of the female orgasm

conclusion

The macho behaviors in sex tend to see the woman as an object for the pleasure of the man. Indeed, your wishes, fantasies or needs do not count. Sex begins with and for the male, aiming at his satisfaction.

On the other hand, we must bear in mind that, unfortunately, the macho is not only rooted in the mentality of some men, but that this also has serious consequences in the way of thinking and acting of many women who believe that if they do not give in , they will not be pleasing the male.

We must, therefore, also become aware as women that assertiveness is important and necessary. Likewise, we must understand that sex is a matter of two, and should be as pleasant for one as for the other. 

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Sex and partner

What is being autosexual?

You may find the idea of ​​“being autosexual” a bit strange if you’ve never heard of it before. This is because it is not something that is commonly talked about in society. Yet it is present.

Those who are autosexual often hide it for fear of the judgment that others may make. And because? What can lead to prejudice? Let’s see more about it below.

What does it mean to be autosexual?

Have you ever seen a person who looks in the mirror and loves himself more than another person? Have you ever known a person who needs to think about themselves when masturbating in order to have an orgasm ? If the answer is yes, then you are dealing with an autosexual person.

Most definitions of autosexuality refer to all those people who are sexually attracted to themselves. Yes, just as a heterosexual is attracted to people of the other sex, and a homosexual is attracted to people of the same sex, autosexuals are attracted to themselves.

Indeed, this type of expression of sexuality is being considered today as one more orientation and there are already many cases of people who are deciding to relate their experience to stop being invisible.

Being autosexual woman

 

Being autosexual is not being narcissistic

It is likely that, in the first instance, the word autosexual makes us think of narcissism . However, they are not the same.

Narcissists need a group of people around, or other people in particular, to constantly praise them and, in this way, caress the ego. While, for his part, the autosexual does not need more than himself.

Furthermore, autosexual people do not need others to have a stable relationship, because they can have it with themselves, self-sufficiently and without third parties. That is why they are also called autoromantic.

Being autosexual is not new

Although it may seem novel, the term itself is not. Since 1962, the therapist Bernard Apfelbaum, a specialist in ego analysis in the field of sexuality, had studied this concept, and commented that: “being autosexual does not mean that a person does not like having relationships with others, but that no companion in bed would be able to overcome the pleasure he feels with himself ”.

The testimonies that exist about the condition of autosexual support what was affirmed by the therapist. Thus, a girl, who preferred not to disclose her name, said:

“When I masturbate, I do it thinking of myself, they are images in my mind. In my fantasies, I am the protagonist, I often imagine myself naked.

If it is someone else who caresses me, I do not feel the same, I never enjoy myself. I feel drawn to myself, in a deep way ”.

So, the most ideal for everyone to be happy seems to be the case in which two people with autosexual orientation go out, since in this way they would understand their needs and could take the time alone they need without having to feel guilty about it, nor feel selfish.

You may be interested: What does it mean to be asexual?

Autosexuality and the dream of having a family

Of course, autosexual people can aspire to dating, and some even dream of having a family. However, they will always feel love or be in love with them, just as it is also a fact that they will feel more pleasure with images of themselves.

However, autosexuality is much more than the act of masturbation. Since an autosexual can prepare a bathtub, light scented candles, play soft music and dance, or have dinner and have a romantic encounter with himself.

Autosexuality, although it may refer to an orientation, still requires more studies to be defined more precisely , in addition to being a term that has yet to gain ground in everyday life.

Woman at home thinking
Autosexual people can aspire to dating, family, or any other form of relationship. However, it is a fact that they will always take pleasure in images of themselves.

Orientation or disorder?

Is it truly an orientation and not a personality disorder? Dr. Jennifer McGowan, an expert on these issues, said that the narcissistic personality disorder has symptoms that allow a diagnosis.

But, in the case of autosexuality, it does not work that way, because autosexuals feel more comfortable when they enjoy their company, unlike the excessive attention that narcissists need.

You may want to read: What is being pansexual?

The researcher also clarified that autosexuality is not associated with the lack of empathy, typical of narcissism, but simply that the autosexual feels a preference for personal and private sexual experiences.

These words are given strength by the testimony of the aforementioned autosexual girl, since she maintains: “If I am in a relationship, or if I am single, I can always count on me.” To this she adds that she has the best orgasms with herself.

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Sex and partner

Sex without penetration, is it possible?

Have you heard your friend tell you that she went out with a boy, they touched a little or kissed his genitals, but there was no sex? It is common for many people to express themselves this way, especially women, believing that there is no such thing as sex without penetration.

However, it is important to emphasize the need to put these types of beliefs aside. That is, we cannot continue to think that if there was no penetration, then it is not about sex, because the truth is that it works that way.

In any type of encounter in which there is oral sex, mutual masturbation, or rubbing, even if there is no penetration, it can be said that there was sex.

The belief has spread to think that these sexual practices are isolated from the sexual act itself , or that it is only about “foreplay” or “foreplay.”

But, these kinds of thoughts only make women attach more importance to having a penis inside their vagina, than to the need for pleasure.

Sex without penetration does exist

Today, experts are more focused on clarifying these doubts and misconceptions that persist in a significant number of the female and male population.

In fact, some stores that sell erotic products have also dedicated themselves to this issue and have created online questionnaires so that users analyze their sexual behaviors and can clarify what really happens when they have an intimate encounter with someone.

Sex without penetration does exist
Although there is still a lot of taboo around this topic, the truth is that it is possible to have sex without penetration.

A popular belief is to think that sex is only reduced to penetration so that it can be considered as such; however, this type of thinking is reductionist. When we think like this, we do not consider those people who enjoy an active sexual life , in which there is no presence of penises.

Indeed, our western culture tends to be phallocentric and to dismiss other types of sexual encounters. According to what was raised by the sexologist, psychologist and couples therapist, Ana Lombardía, there is pressure for both women and men to feel the obligation to include penetration in their routine.

Thus, she argues that:

“We feel pressure for all sexual encounters to end with a movie penetration and orgasm, but these ideas must change. Sexuality should be oriented to do everything we like, and when we want, without having to adjust to specific rules ”.

Clearly, these ideas come from the little education that has been had regarding sexuality and, in those cases in which the person has received sexual education, this has not always prioritized the pleasure of the woman .

Read also: Sexist behaviors in sex: it should not be tolerated

Sex is much more complex

Another ingrained idea that gives strength to the previous idea – that sex is reduced to penetration – is that many people still believe that we should all be heterosexual and cisgender. This, of course, has only drawn more prejudice with it.

For this reason, some sexologists go against the concept of sexual foreplay, as they deplete the expressiveness of true sexuality by believing that anything other than penetration has less importance in intimacy. However, there are also other ways of having sex in which penetration does not matter.

The preliminaries are thought to be those previous games to what is really important, that is, penetration. For this reason, Dr. Lombardía emphasizes that:

“The only truth is that all sexual practices are complete and fulfilling by themselves, whether or not there is penetration, or it ends with an orgasm or not.”

Indeed, after consulting many women, some studies argue that penetration is not their preferred practice , as other sexual expressions are more exciting.

In addition to this, other research also confirms that not all women can have an orgasm if they are only penetrated. However, this is something that many keep quiet.

You may also be interested in: Advice Sexologists Share About Relationships

Woman with her partner
One of the most widespread myths is that women only achieve fullness with penetration. Far from this idea, there are other sexual practices that can be more exciting.

Women can re-educate

It is worth wondering who really are the women who are willing to re-educate themselves and fight for a less exclusive sexuality, in which a recognition of all the sexual potential that our bodies hide.

This new way of observing sexuality allows us to let go of all those misconceptions, or misplaced, that force us to have intimate encounters whose purpose is penetration.

In the same way, attending to sexuality as the complex dimension that it really is, helps us understand that what really matters is communicating with the couple, and letting them know what we like them to do to us and what we like to do.

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Sex and partner

10 common questions about sex

Next, we will present you with the 10 frequent questions about sex that come more frequently to sexology consultations. Among them, of course, are some of the most widespread myths about love and sexuality.

We invite you to clear your doubts with the following article and discover once and for all what sexuality really means at its best.

10 common questions about sex

We know that the subject has been and continues to be a taboo subject for many people. Therefore, we still find frequent doubts that, for some, are an impediment when it comes to enjoying their intimate encounters. Let’s see.

1. Is it true that multiple orgasms don’t exist?

False. Multiple orgasms do exist. In fact, Dr. Miguel Sira , a renowned sexologist, tells us that there are several types of orgasms. In his book “Between the sheets” , he explains that there is a multiorgasmic pattern, characterized by a phase of intense and rapid arousal.

This phase is followed by one of sustained and short intensity, and then a period of numerous orgasms of varying intensity that ends with a progressive decline.

Multiple orgasms.
Multiple orgasms exist and can be achieved through various types of stimulation.

2. If I have had sexual fantasies with other women, am I a lesbian?

False. According to the Kinsey Institute’s Dictionary of Sexology , sexual fantasies are imaginary mental representations that stimulate or accompany sexual acts. Therefore, sexual fantasies do not define a person’s sexual orientation, but other more complex factors.

3. If I have not had a vaginal orgasm until now, can I never have it again?

False. As long as attention is paid to aspects such as clitoral stimulation, it is possible to have an orgasm of this type. However, we must bear in mind that, in most cases, it is the clitoris and not the vagina that is the source of orgasm.

4. Can I get pregnant with menstruation?

Yes. Although the probabilities diminish, yes it is possible that it happens. Well, while it is true that a woman needs to be ovulating to get pregnant, it is also true that sometimes the menstrual cycle is not regular. Therefore, the precise moment in which you are ovulating is not known.

Additionally, there is also metrorrhagia, which consists of vaginal bleeding that occurs outside the menstrual period, and this must also be taken into account.

It may interest you: Physical exercise and menstrual cycle

5. Why do I feel pain when my partner caresses my clitoris?

Perhaps, the couple does not know very well how to stimulate the clitoris, so they end up doing it as they do with their own genitals, that is, abruptly. To change this, communication between the two components of the couple is necessary.

The clitoris is very sensitive and requires gentle stroking. The woman can communicate this to her partner. Some women take pleasure in subtle touches, made in a circular fashion, or with light rubbing in a vertical direction. This depends on each one.

Tell him exactly how you want him to stimulate you . If necessary, you can masturbate and show him how you do it. Thus, he will learn.

Woman experiencing pleasure
The clitoris has nerve endings that make it highly sensitive. Therefore, if the partner does not know how to stimulate it, it can be painful and uncomfortable.

6. Is the size of the penis important to feel pleasure?

No. The length of the penis does not matter when you want to have an orgasm. In fact, many women can be reached alone by masturbating with their fingers alone.

The importance given to penis size is due to myths and cultural beliefs, but sexuality is much more than this. Indeed, sexuality goes beyond penetration or penis size .

This importance that is given to the size of the penis has been promoted through the images represented in the pornographic films, but we know that these also are full of unreality.

7. Does sex life end with old age?

False. Sexuality does not end with old age. It only ends when we die. The only thing that happens with old age is that changes come and sexuality is lived in a different way, but it is not extinguished.

You may want to read: Sexuality in Old Age

8. Can a homosexual person be identified by their appearance?

No. Sexual orientation is influenced by many aspects of an affective, psychological, cognitive order, among others, and to determine what a person’s orientation is, it would only be possible to ask him or to express it by his will, but never by his appearance.

9. If you masturbate during adolescence, do you lose sexual potential in adulthood?

This is one of the frequent doubts about sex. But, no, it is completely false. It is just an unfounded belief that has gained a place in society, without any foundation or support.

masturbate on men
Masturbation is a completely natural act and it does not have to diminish sexual potential even if it is done from a young age.

10. Does premature ejaculation heal itself, letting time pass?

No. Premature ejaculation can be due to multiple factors. It is advisable to go to a specialist to find the option that is most effective. This can take time and include behavioral treatment , counseling, or the use of medications.

Over time, many myths have managed to integrate into society and have given rise to false beliefs that only detract from the enjoyment of the exercise of sexual function. But now we know that sexuality is broad and that both men and women can take an active role to have greater satisfaction. Did you solve any doubts about sex?

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Sex and partner

Talking about sex: why is it so difficult?

Talking about sex is difficult, even though it is known to be present almost everywhere. In fact, it is not easy for many people to participate in these types of conversations, either because they feel embarrassed or because they find it confusing.

On the other hand, there are those who do not know how to distinguish between what sexuality is or what differences exist between sex and gender. These, and many other doubts, continue to persist despite the fact that it is now relatively easier to have information about it.

Why is it so difficult to talk about sex?

In almost all spaces it becomes a difficult subject to approach. For example, there are parents who still do not explain to their children on the subject, until they ask. However, today it is known that it is important for parents to talk about these issues with their children, since it is part of their education .

Likewise, there are couples who do not manage to talk about sex either, which complicates relationships, since neither gets to know what the other’s sexual tastes or preferences are. While it is difficult to address this issue, there will always be doubts, confusion and little understanding of the other.

Hablar de sexo: ¿por qué es difícil?
Since always, everything related to sex has been taboo. Therefore, there are still couples who find it difficult to talk about it.

You may want to learn: How to improve your sexual communication

Sex and sexuality

Talking about sex is not the same as talking about sexuality, since there are differences between the two concepts. As long as the subject remains taboo, confusion will continue to reign. In any case, unresolved doubts prevent each person from knowing more about himself and having problems defining his personality .

Some institutions have already clarified that the term sexuality implies “a set of anatomical, psychological and affective conditions that characterize each sex.” That is, it is a fairly broad concept that encompasses the concept of sex, itself.

For this reason, referring to the issue of sexuality implies considering social, cultural, and any other determining factors in the person’s life. What there is no doubt is that this issue should be integrated into everyday life in order to clear up so many confusions that exist.

It is necessary to promote reflection on sexuality and destroy all myths about sex. This will allow to put an end to any type of thinking that, instead of clarifying, subjects individuals to feeling guilt and fear .

How to talk about sex?

It has already been explained that talking about sex is not the same as talking about sexuality, because the latter concept is much broader. However, within sexuality is the possibility of talking about sex. Thus, intimacy and pleasure can be expressed through certain beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, fantasies, norms, values, among others.

When talking about sex, it refers to the physiological and anatomical characteristics that make the female different from the male, but that do not necessarily have to coincide with the way each person feels. For these reasons, it is a relevant issue in the family nucleus, schools and, above all, in the couple.

¿Cómo hablar de sexo?
To talk about sex it is necessary to break down the taboos around the subject. And this not only in the couple, but in the family nucleus and at school.

 Guidelines for talking about sex

  • Assume that it is a vital issue: that is, that it is part of every human being.
  • Recognize its importance: that is, the most illogical thing is to live without trying to talk about sex because it is part of one of the dimensions of life.
  • Addressing the subject itself: trying to avoid the taboos that exist on the subject. The most important thing is clear and truthful information.
  • Share with your partner: to get to know each other better and recognize their tastes and desires. Talking about sex in the couple reinforces intimacy.
  • Leave shame aside: because whether you want to recognize it or not, sexuality is a dimension of life, and within this it is relevant to address these issues.

It may interest you:  10 most frequent questions about sex

Debunking myths about sex

It is advisable to put aside any feelings of shame when talking about sex, and this begins, especially, at home. It is time to put aside the taboos, myths and false beliefs to approach the subject from the greatest possible objectivity in order to achieve a good sex education.